All my children inherited perfect pitch. Chevy Chase on funny
I'm thankful for the three ounce Ziploc bag, so that I have somewhere to put my savings. Paula Poundstone on funny
Whoever is my relative, I will not be nice to them. George Lopez on funny
I'm a misplaced American, but don't know where I was misplaced. Ruby Wax on funny
I would talk in iambic pentameter if it were easier. Howard Nemerov on funny
Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish. Chevy Chase on funny
If man knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry. O. Henry on funny
Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch. Dennis Miller on funny
I have a very low level of recognition, which is fine by me. Dylan Moran on funny
I'm kidding about having only a few dollars. I might have a few dollars more. James Brown on funny
I'd never been in play long enough for the flowers to die in the dressing room. Mercedes McCambridge on funny
I'm the only man in the world with a marriage licence made out to whom it may concern. Mickey Rooney on funny
Someone told me that when they go to Vermont, they feel like they're home. I'm that way at Saks. Caroline Rhea on funny
Trust is hard to come by. That's why my circle is small and tight. I'm kind of funny about making new friends. Eminem on funny
I was asked to act when I couldn't act. I was asked to sing 'Funny Face' when I couldn't sing, and dance with Fred Astaire when I couldn't dance - and do all kinds of things I wasn't prepared for. Then I tried like mad to cope with it. Audrey Hepburn on funny
There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God. Bill Cosby on funny
Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh. George Bernard Shaw on funny
From there to here, and here to there, funny things are everywhere. Dr. Seuss on funny
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married. Robert Frost on funny
You know, fame is a funny thing, man, especially, you know, actors, musicians, rappers, rock singers, it's kind of a lifestyle and it's easy to get caught up in it - you go to bars, you go to clubs, everyone's doing a certain thing... It's tough. Eminem on funny