My doctor gave me six months to live, but when I couldn't pay the bill he gave me six months more. Walter Matthau
When I told my doctor I couldn't afford an operation, he offered to touch-up my X-rays. Henny Youngman
The great secret of doctors, known only to their wives, but still hidden from the public, is that most things get better by themselves most things, in fact, are better in the morning. Lewis Thomas
Medicine sometimes snatches away health, sometimes gives it. Ovid
I was always shocked when I went to the doctor's office and they did my X-ray and didn't find that I had eight more ribs than I should have or that my blood was the color green. Nicolas Cage
In the name of Hypocrites, doctors have invented the most exquisite form of torture ever known to man: survival. Edward Everett Hale
The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing. Dizzy Dean
I'm 86 and my doctor used to tell me to slow down - at least he did until he dropped dead. Cesar Romero
Some people think that doctors and nurses can put scrambled eggs back in the shell. Cass Canfield
You can die of the cure before you die of the illness. Michael Landon
People are so afraid of authority figures and doctors are authority figures. Martha Beck
The physician's highest calling, his only calling, is to make sick people healthy - to heal, as it is termed. Samuel Hahnemann
It is reasonable to expect the doctor to recognize that science may not have all the answers to problems of health and healing. Norman Cousins
Growing up, my dolls were doctors and on secret missions. I had Barbie Goes Rambo. Zoe Saldana
When a man goes through six years training to be a doctor he will never be the same. He knows too much. Enid Bagnold
Flying back from New York, the flight attendant said 'God, I wished you were here yesterday, we had a stroke on the plane. I said, if I have a stroke on a plane, I hope the pretend doctor isn't the one on the plane. I want a real doctor. Anthony Edwards
America has the best doctors, the best nurses, the best hospitals, the best medical technology, the best medical breakthrough medicines in the world. There is absolutely no reason we should not have in this country the best health care in the world. Bill Frist
I went to the doctor and he said I had acute appendicitis, and I said compared to who? Jay London
I'm strongly for a patient Bill of Rights. Decisions ought to be made by doctors, not accountants. Charles Schumer