Quotes about:
999 Quotes Regarding Funny
I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.
Johnny Carson
That's my only goal. Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone has a good time and works hard.
Joe Rogan
The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!
Jerry Seinfeld
Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?
James Thurber
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
Henny Youngman
The first time I sang in the church choir two hundred people changed their religion.
Fred Allen
Polite conversation is rarely either.
Fran Lebowitz
If you have a secret, people will sit a little bit closer.
Rob Corddry
If at first you don't succeed, find out if the loser gets anything.
William Lyon Phelps
As I get older, I just prefer to knit.
Tracey Ullman
If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age.
George Burns
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.
Rita Rudner
Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got.
Josh Billings
Never floss with a stranger.
Joan Rivers
I was sleeping the other night, alone, thanks to the exterminator.
Emo Philips
The digital camera is a great invention because it allows us to reminisce. Instantly.
Demetri Martin
If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.
Mel Brooks
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.
Josh Billings
Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.
Johnny Carson
Television has changed the American child from an irresistable force to an immovable object.
Laurence J. Peter