Quotes about:
999 Quotes Regarding Funny
This shirt is dry clean only. Which means... it's dirty.
Mitch Hedberg
Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.
Laurence J. Peter
All men are equal before fish.
Herbert Hoover
I wanna make a jigsaw puzzle that's 40,000 pieces. And when you finish it, it says 'go outside.'
Demetri Martin
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
Joan Rivers
California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange.
Fred Allen
Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of the human race.
H. G. Wells
If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
Joan Rivers
Marriage is a wonderful institution, but who would want to live in an institution?
H. L. Mencken
My life needs editing.
Mort Sahl
Men are only as loyal as their options.
Bill Maher
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Woody Allen
I don't need you to remind me of my age. I have a bladder to do that for me.
Stephen Fry
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick.
George Burns
I have a love interest in every one of my films: a gun.
Arnold Schwarzenegger
You're only as good as your last haircut.
Fran Lebowitz
Be obscure clearly.
E. B. White
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
Fran Lebowitz
I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things, and I have succeeded fairly well.
Robert Benchley
Do not let a flattering woman coax and wheedle you and deceive you she is after your barn.
Hesiod