I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry. Josh Billings on age
The best time for you to hold your tongue is the time you feel you must say something or bust. Josh Billings on best
The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way. Josh Billings on best
One of the best temporary cures for pride and affectation is seasickness a man who wants to vomit never puts on airs. Josh Billings on best
The best medicine I know for rheumatism is to thank the Lord that it ain't gout. Josh Billings on best
One of the rarest things that a man ever does, is to do the best he can. Josh Billings on best
There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't. Josh Billings on change
There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply. Josh Billings on experience
If there was no faith there would be no living in this world. We could not even eat hash with any safety. Josh Billings on faith
As a general thing, when a woman wears the pants in a family, she has a good right to them. Josh Billings on family
The thinner the ice, the more anxious is everyone to see whether it will bear. Josh Billings on fear
There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it. Josh Billings on fitness
There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness. Josh Billings on forgiveness
There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. Josh Billings on funny
Every man has his follies - and often they are the most interesting thing he has got. Josh Billings on funny
Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed. Josh Billings on funny
There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together. Josh Billings on funny
Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it. Josh Billings on god
It is not all bad, this getting old, ripening. After the fruit has got its growth it should juice up and mellow. God forbid I should live long enough to ferment and rot and fall to the ground in a squash. Josh Billings on god
Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place. Josh Billings on good