A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money. W. C. Fields on money
It's morally wrong to allow a sucker to keep his money. W. C. Fields on money
Hell, I never vote for anybody, I always vote against. W. C. Fields on politics
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with. W. C. Fields on smile
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There's no point in being a damn fool about it. W. C. Fields on success
There comes a time in the affairs of man when he must take the bull by the tail and face the situation. W. C. Fields on time
Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water. W. C. Fields on travel
You can't trust water: Even a straight stick turns crooked in it. W. C. Fields on trust
No doubt exists that all women are crazy it's only a question of degree. W. C. Fields on women
Women are like elephants. I like to look at 'em, but I wouldn't want to own one. W. C. Fields on women
All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women. W. C. Fields on women
I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home. W. C. Fields on new years