32 Quotes By W. C. Fields


The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
W. C. Fields on best

Set up another case bartender! The best thing for a case of nerves is a case of Scotch.
W. C. Fields on best

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. Fields on death

Drown in a cold vat of whiskey? Death, where is thy sting?
W. C. Fields on death

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.
W. C. Fields on equality

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.
W. C. Fields on experience

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
W. C. Fields on family

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields on food

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields on food

Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water.
W. C. Fields on food

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
W. C. Fields on funny

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
W. C. Fields on funny

I like children - fried.
W. C. Fields on funny

Show me a great actor and I'll show you a lousy husband. Show me a great actress, and you've seen the devil.
W. C. Fields on great

I never worry about being driven to drink I just worry about being driven home.
W. C. Fields on home

When we have lost everything, including hope, life becomes a disgrace, and death a duty.
W. C. Fields on hope

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
W. C. Fields on humor

Never try to impress a woman, because if you do she'll expect you to keep up the standard for the rest of your life.
W. C. Fields on life

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink.
W. C. Fields on life

All the men in my family were bearded, and most of the women.
W. C. Fields on men