When I was about 12 years old back in Houston, my Dad used to take us to the driving range. Ron White on dad
Other states are trying to abolish the death penalty... mine's putting in an express lane. Ron White on death
There were years when I was a beer and tequila guy, then I got real fat. And then I found that you could actually go on a diet and drink scotch. Then I got hooked on scotch, and if you get hooked on scotch, then everything else just tastes wrong. Ron White on diet
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. Ron White on funny
The next time you have a thought... let it go. Ron White on funny
I was considered by my peers to be a good comedian. So that's all I ever strived to do was get some recognition from my peers. Ron White on good
I'd rather do a really good small part than a really bad big part. Ron White on good
I do live like a rock star, but it's not as great as it sounds. It's a lot of traveling. Ron White on great
I've got a great cigar collection - it's actually not a collection, because that would imply I wasn't going to smoke every last one of 'em. Ron White on great
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. Ron White on life
The next time you have a thought... let it go. Ron White on time
You wanna get the truth out of me, get me hammered. Ron White on truth
I didn't get where I am today by worryin' about how I'd feel tomorrow. Ron White on wisdom
People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic. Ron White on work
But I work harder now because I have so much more exposure. And actually the harder you work as a writer, the better you get at it. It's like anything else. It's a muscle you have to exercise. I write more now than ever. Ron White on work