Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. P. J. O'Rourke
Campaign behavior for wives: Always be on time. Do as little talking as humanly possible. Lean back in the parade car so everybody can see the president. Eleanor Roosevelt
Personally, I just think rap music is the best thing out there, period. If you look at my deck in my car radio, you're always going to find a hip-hop tape that's all I buy, that's all I live, that's all I listen to, that's all I love. Eminem
A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad. Theodore Roosevelt
Never have more children than you have car windows. Erma Bombeck
What Englishman will give his mind to politics as long as he can afford to keep a motor car? George Bernard Shaw
Most people have no concept of how an automatic transmission works, yet they know how to drive a car. You don't have to study physics to understand the laws of motion to drive a car. You don't have to understand any of this stuff to use Macintosh. Steve Jobs
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming. Mitch Hedberg
I miss Saturday morning, rolling out of bed, not shaving, getting into my car with my girls, driving to the supermarket, squeezing the fruit, getting my car washed, taking walks. Barack Obama
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. Erma Bombeck
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. Erma Bombeck
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. Prince Philip
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. Erma Bombeck
I have an answering machine in my car. It says, I'm home now. But leave a message and I'll call when I'm out. Steven Wright
Just as your car runs more smoothly and requires less energy to go faster and farther when the wheels are in perfect alignment, you perform better when your thoughts, feelings, emotions, goals, and values are in balance. Brian Tracy
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time. Erma Bombeck
It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows. Erma Bombeck
I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car. Steven Wright
I rememeber one time we were getting ready to go to South America and everything was packed up and in the car ready to go and I hid and I was crying because I really did not want to go, I wanted to play. I did not want to go. Michael Jackson
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive. Rodney Dangerfield