It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows. Erma Bombeck on car
I had a friend who was a clown. When he died, all his friends went to the funeral in one car. Steven Wright on car
I rememeber one time we were getting ready to go to South America and everything was packed up and in the car ready to go and I hid and I was crying because I really did not want to go, I wanted to play. I did not want to go. Michael Jackson on car
My wife wants sex in the back of the car and she wants me to drive. Rodney Dangerfield on car
I play the harmonica. The only way I can play is if I get my car going really fast, and stick it out the window. Steven Wright on car
I have bad reflexes. I was once run over by a car being pushed by two guys. Woody Allen on car
(On seeing a former lover for the first time in years) I thought I told you to wait in the car. Tallulah Bankhead on car
Everything in life is somewhere else, and you get there in a car. E. B. White on car
A car is useless in New York, essential everywhere else. The same with good manners. Mignon McLaughlin on car
We're in a giant car heading towards a brick wall and everyone's arguing over where they're going to sit. David Suzuki on car
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear. Dave Barry on car
When you first get money, you buy all these things so no one thinks you're mean, and you spread it around. You get a chauffeur and you find yourself thrown around the back of this car and you think, I was happier when I had my own little car! I could drive myself! Paul McCartney on car
Design can never be an ultimate explanation for anything. It can only be a proximate explanation. A plane or a car is explained by a designer but that's because the designer himself, the engineer, is explained by natural selection. Richard Dawkins on car
To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.' Rita Rudner on car
I am thankful the most important key in history was invented. It's not the key to your house, your car, your boat, your safety deposit box, your bike lock or your private community. It's the key to order, sanity, and peace of mind. The key is 'Delete.' Elayne Boosler on car
American stuntmen are smart - they think about safety. When they do a jump in a car, they calculate everything: the speed, the distance... But in Hong Kong, we don't know how to count. Everything we do is a guess. If you've got the guts, you do it. All of my stuntmen have gotten hurt. Jackie Chan on car
It seems to me I spent my life in car pools, but you know, that's how I kept track of what was going on. Barbara Bush on car
Going to church doesn't make you any more a Christian than going to the garage makes you a car. Laurence J. Peter on car
Canadians can easily 'pass for American' as long as we don't accidentally use metric measurements or apologize when hit by a car. Doug Coupland on car
And suddenly I realised that I was no longer driving the car consciously. I was driving it by a kind of instinct, only I was in a different dimension. Ayrton Senna on car