55 Quotes By Woody Allen

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If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right.
Woody Allen on movies

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
Woody Allen on nature

I am two with nature.
Woody Allen on nature

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
Woody Allen on nature

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
Woody Allen on peace

Eighty percent of success is showing up.
Woody Allen on success

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up.
Woody Allen on success

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
Woody Allen on teacher

I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.
Woody Allen on thankful

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all.
Woody Allen on time

Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
Woody Allen on time

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
Woody Allen on war

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying.
Woody Allen on work

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Woody Allen on money

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
Woody Allen on wealth