My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head. Rita Rudner on age
I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again. Rita Rudner on business
To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.' Rita Rudner on car
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to. Rita Rudner on dating
When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always. Rita Rudner on funny
I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight. Rita Rudner on funny
To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.' Rita Rudner on funny
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. Rita Rudner on funny
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Rita Rudner on great
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose. Rita Rudner on great
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better. Rita Rudner on humor
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Rita Rudner on life
Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times. Rita Rudner on love
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Rita Rudner on love
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Rita Rudner on marriage
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry. Rita Rudner on marriage
My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child. We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. Rita Rudner on marriage
In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. Rita Rudner on marriage
I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. Rita Rudner on marriage
I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso. Rita Rudner on medical