26 Quotes By Phyllis Diller

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Any time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.
Phyllis Diller on time

Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
Phyllis Diller on wedding

The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear the same outfit in public.
Phyllis Diller on women

Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.
Phyllis Diller on work

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
Phyllis Diller on christmas

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.
Phyllis Diller on thanksgiving