85 Quotes By P. J. O'Rourke


Hubris is one of the great renewable resources.
P. J. O'Rourke on great

Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I'm not even sure we can draw lessons from them.
P. J. O'Rourke on happiness

If you are young and you drink a great deal it will spoil your health, slow your mind, make you fat - in other words, turn you into an adult.
P. J. O'Rourke on health

Positive rights are the right to shelter, the right to education, the right to health care, the right to a living wage. These things are - these are, I would call them, more properly, political rights rather than positive rights. And they are extremely tricky, because now we are dealing with things that are zero sum.
P. J. O'Rourke on health

Nobody likes insurance companies, especially health insurance companies.
P. J. O'Rourke on health

In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character.
P. J. O'Rourke on history

No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it's probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.
P. J. O'Rourke on history

One of the enduring problems with certain societies in the world - and this is certainly true of a lot of places in the Middle East - is that the capacity for self-governance and self-organizing just isn't there. It has to do with history.
P. J. O'Rourke on history

Little islands of human happiness, peace, and prosperity are so exceptional at this point in history that I'm not even sure we can draw lessons from them.
P. J. O'Rourke on history

I like making things. I have a wood shop at home. I am a terrible carpenter but I love doing it.
P. J. O'Rourke on home

Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.
P. J. O'Rourke on hope

I like to think of my behavior in the sixties as a 'learning experience.' Then again, I like to think of anything stupid I've done as a 'learning experience.' It makes me feel less stupid.
P. J. O'Rourke on learning

Children must be considered in a divorce considered valuable pawns in the nasty legal and financial contest that is about to ensue.
P. J. O'Rourke on legal

Anyway, no drug, not even alcohol, causes the fundamental ills of society. If we're looking for the source of our troubles, we shouldn't test people for drugs, we should test them for stupidity, ignorance, greed and love of power.
P. J. O'Rourke on love

Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
P. J. O'Rourke on marriage

There is one thing women can never take away from men. We die sooner.
P. J. O'Rourke on men

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
P. J. O'Rourke on money

You can't get rid of poverty by giving people money.
P. J. O'Rourke on money

I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning.
P. J. O'Rourke on morning

We need a government, alas, because of the nature of humans.
P. J. O'Rourke on nature