18 Quotes By Garrison Keillor


I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think my schedule looked so busy.
Garrison Keillor on age

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.
Garrison Keillor on food

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
Garrison Keillor on forgiveness

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Garrison Keillor on funny

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
Garrison Keillor on god

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
Garrison Keillor on god

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
Garrison Keillor on good

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.
Garrison Keillor on home

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
Garrison Keillor on life

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.
Garrison Keillor on love

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.
Garrison Keillor on men

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
Garrison Keillor on nature

Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted.
Garrison Keillor on parenting

Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a function.
Garrison Keillor on pet

They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
Garrison Keillor on sad

Thank you, dear God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough. Thank you for the rain. And for the chance to wake up in three hours and go fishing: I thank you for that now, because I won't feel so thankful then.
Garrison Keillor on thankful

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.
Garrison Keillor on women

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.
Garrison Keillor on christmas