Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs. Fran Lebowitz on nature
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior. Fran Lebowitz on peace
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail. Fran Lebowitz on pet
Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw. Fran Lebowitz on romantic
Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable. Fran Lebowitz on success
As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. Fran Lebowitz on teen
Being a woman is of special interest only to aspiring male transsexuals. To actual women, it is simply a good excuse not to play football. Fran Lebowitz on women
Think before you speak. Read before you think. This will give you something to think about that you didn't make up yourself a wise move at any age, but most especially at seventeen, when you are in the greatest danger of coming to annoying conclusions. Fran Lebowitz on age
Should you be a teenager blessed with uncommon good looks, document this state of affairs by the taking of photographs. It is the only way anyone will ever believe you in years to come. Fran Lebowitz on age
Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you. Fran Lebowitz on age