Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to irritate the situation by making an effort. If you have a burning, restless urge to write or paint, simply eat something sweet and the feeling will pass. Fran Lebowitz on art
Contrary to popular opinion, the hustle is not a new dance step - it is an old business procedure. Fran Lebowitz on business
There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any attempt to prove otherwise constitutes unacceptable behavior. Fran Lebowitz on death
Food is an important part of a balanced diet. Fran Lebowitz on diet
I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my invariable experience that the company of a mere child is infinitely preferable to that of a mere adult. Fran Lebowitz on experience
Andy Warhol made fame more famous. Fran Lebowitz on famous
If you're going to America, bring your own food. Fran Lebowitz on food
Food is an important part of a balanced diet. Fran Lebowitz on food
My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as restaurants, airports, streets, hotel lobbies, parks, and department stores. Verbal exchanges between consenting adults in private are as of little interest to me as they probably are to them. Fran Lebowitz on freedom
You're only as good as your last haircut. Fran Lebowitz on funny
Food is an important part of a balanced diet. Fran Lebowitz on funny
Polite conversation is rarely either. Fran Lebowitz on funny
If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him to subtract teach him to deduct. Fran Lebowitz on future
All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable. Fran Lebowitz on god
You're only as good as your last haircut. Fran Lebowitz on good
Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine. Fran Lebowitz on great
You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that people will pretend that they do. Fran Lebowitz on hope
Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep. Fran Lebowitz on life
Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts reality, and that's the point of it. It would be impossible to fall in love with someone that you really saw. Fran Lebowitz on love
If you are of the opinion that the contemplation of suicide is sufficient evidence of a poetic nature, do not forget that actions speak louder than words. Fran Lebowitz on nature