The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe we are above-average drivers. Dave Barry on age
The information encoded in your DNA determines your unique biological characteristics, such as sex, eye color, age and Social Security number. Dave Barry on age
It was Public Art, defined as art that is purchased by experts who are not spending their own personal money. Dave Barry on art
Camping is nature's way of promoting the motel business. Dave Barry on business
Big business never pays a nickel in taxes, according to Ralph Nader, who represents a big consumer organization that never pays a nickel in taxes. Dave Barry on business
Auto racing is boring except when a car is going at least 172 miles per hour upside down. Dave Barry on car
Dogs feel very strongly that they should always go with you in the car, in case the need should arise for them to bark violently at nothing right in your ear. Dave Barry on car
I want a pit crew... I hate the procedure I currently have to go through when I have car problems. Dave Barry on car
The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting. Dave Barry on communication
I am not the only person who uses his computer mainly for the purpose of diddling with his computer. Dave Barry on computers
The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat. Dave Barry on computers
The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs. Dave Barry on cool
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death. Dave Barry on death
The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry on death
As a child, I was more afraid of tetanus shots than, for example, Dracula. Dave Barry on fear
Eating rice cakes is like chewing on a foam coffee cup, only less filling. Dave Barry on food
It is a scientific fact that your body will not absorb cholesterol if you take it from another person's plate. Dave Barry on funny
The four building blocks of the universe are fire, water, gravel and vinyl. Dave Barry on funny
The Internet: transforming society and shaping the future through chat. Dave Barry on future
I believe that we parents must encourage our children to become educated, so they can get into a good college that we cannot afford. Dave Barry on good