Convent - a place of retirement for women who wish for leisure to meditate upon the sin of idleness. Ambrose Bierce on women
Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity. Ambrose Bierce on ability
Age that period of life in which we compound for the vices that we still cherish by reviling those that we no longer have the enterprise to commit. Ambrose Bierce on age
Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. Ambrose Bierce on beauty
Bore. A person who talks when you wish him to listen. Ambrose Bierce on bore
Corporation: an ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility. Ambrose Bierce on business
Conservative: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the liberal, who wishes to replace them with others. Ambrose Bierce on conservative-liberal
Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure. Ambrose Bierce on destiny
Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for. Ambrose Bierce on immortality
Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. Ambrose Bierce on law
Marriage: a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves - making in all two. Ambrose Bierce on marriage