Never get married in college it's hard to get a start if a prospective employer finds you've already made one mistake. Elbert Hubbard
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of. Mae West
To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it Whenever you're right, shut up. Ogden Nash
Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage. Ambrose Bierce
Marriage resembles a pair of shears, so joined that they cannot be separated often moving in opposite directions, yet always punishing anyone who comes between them. Sydney Smith
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. Erma Bombeck
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. Prince Philip
It's tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won't drink from my glass. Rodney Dangerfield
There's only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I'll get married again. Clint Eastwood
Politics doesn't make strange bedfellows - marriage does. Groucho Marx
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. Sacha Guitry
A successful marriage is an edifice that must be rebuilt every day. Andre Maurois
There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends. Homer
Basically my wife was immature. I'd be at home in the bath and she'd come in and sink my boats. Woody Allen
Love is moral even without legal marriage, but marriage is immoral without love. Ellen Key
By our Heavenly Father and only because of God, only because of God. We're like other couples. We do not get along perfectly we do not go without arguments and, as I call them, fights, and heartache and pain and hurting each other. But a marriage is three of us. Barbara Mandrell
Marrying an old bachelor is like buying second-hand furniture. H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love. Michel de Montaigne
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two. Ambrose Bierce