Youngsters of the age of two and three are endowed with extraordinary strength. They can lift a dog twice their own weight and dump him into the bathtub. Erma Bombeck on age
Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you. Erma Bombeck on alone
A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. Erma Bombeck on birthday
Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago. Erma Bombeck on business
Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments. Erma Bombeck on car
Never have more children than you have car windows. Erma Bombeck on car
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. Erma Bombeck on car
Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery. Erma Bombeck on car
My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. Erma Bombeck on car
Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time. Erma Bombeck on car
It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows. Erma Bombeck on car
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. Erma Bombeck on courage
All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. Erma Bombeck on courage
I have a hat. It is graceful and feminine and give me a certain dignity, as if I were attending a state funeral or something. Someday I may get up enough courage to wear it, instead of carrying it. Erma Bombeck on courage
Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy. Erma Bombeck on design
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. Erma Bombeck on diet
Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely. Erma Bombeck on dreams
It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. Erma Bombeck on dreams
I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage. Erma Bombeck on family
Like religion, politics, and family planning, cereal is not a topic to be brought up in public. It's too controversial. Erma Bombeck on family