When I was little I thought, isn't it nice that everybody celebrates on my birthday? Because it's July 4th. Gloria Stuart
This is a wonderful way to celebrate an 80th birthday... I wanted to be 65 again, but they wouldn't let me - Homeland Security. Art Buchwald
I do like to shock and surprise people. When it's all in good fun, of course. Ruth Warrick
I crashed my boyfriend's birthday when I was 12 years old. He didn't invite me and so I showed up. Isla Fisher
A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. Robert Frost
I wrapped my Christmas presents early this year, but I used the wrong paper. See, the paper I used said 'Happy Birthday' on it. I didn't want to waste it so I just wrote 'Jesus' on it. Demetri Martin
Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding you're exactly the same. Audrey Hepburn
The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity. Lucius Annaeus Seneca
With my wife I don't get no respect. I made a toast on her birthday to 'the best woman a man ever had.' The waiter joined me. Rodney Dangerfield
It was my 16th birthday - my mom and dad gave me my Goya classical guitar that day. I sat down, wrote this song, and I just knew that that was the only thing I could ever really do - write songs and sing them to people. Stevie Nicks
Just hit my 75th birthday, I'm feeling great! Colin Powell
You know, maybe I was just born in the wrong time, but I love all things romantic. Puffy understands that. For my last birthday, he covered my hotel room floor with rose petals and had flowers and candles all over the room. Jennifer Lopez
Mum loves me being famous! She is so excited and proud, as she had me so young and couldn't support me, so I am living her dream, it's sweeter for both of us. It's her 40th birthday soon and I'm going to buy her 40 presents. Adele
It's odd the things that people remember. Parents will arrange a birthday party, certain it will stick in your mind forever. You'll have a nice time, then two years later you'll be like, 'There was a pony there? Really? And a clown with one leg?' David Sedaris
Some people won't go the extra mile, and then on their birthday, when no one makes a fuss, they feel neglected and bitter. Anne Lamott
You always get a special kick on opening day, no matter how many you go through. You look forward to it like a birthday party when you're a kid. You think something wonderful is going to happen. Joe DiMaggio
I trained to be a priest - started to. I went to seminary school when I was 11. I wanted to be a priest, but when they told me I could never have sex, not even on my birthday, I changed my mind. Johnny Vegas
I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.' Larry David
My ace in the hole as a human being used to be my capacity for remembering birthdays. I worked at it. Whenever I made a new friend, I made a point of finding out his or her birthday early on, and I would record it in my Filofax calendar. Susan Orlean