35 Quotes By Charlie Sheen


It's not an act. I love it. It's totally original. People go, 'What's going on with this guy? Why does he sound so weird? What is going on in his brain. I don't know. Just one day I suddenly woke up with a new brain.
Charlie Sheen on love

I'm 0 for 3 with marriage - the scoreboard doesn't lie, never has. So what we all have is a marriage of the heart. To sully or contaminate or radically disrespect this union with a shameful contract is something that I will leave to the amateurs and the Bible grippers.
Charlie Sheen on marriage

I tried marriage. I'm 0 for 3 with the marriage thing. So, being a ballplayer - I believe in numbers. I'm not going 0 for 4. I'm not wearing a golden sombrero.
Charlie Sheen on marriage

What is a normal childhood? We weren't rich, we were pretty middle-class. My dad survived from job to job with him taking care of so many relatives, he couldn't save any money.
Charlie Sheen on money

I'm sorry, man, but I've got magic. I've got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time - and this includes naps - I'm an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground.
Charlie Sheen on poetry

As kids we're not taught how to deal with success we're taught how to deal with failure. If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. If at first you succeed, then what?
Charlie Sheen on success

The only thing I'm addicted to is winning. This bootleg cult, arrogantly referred to as Alcoholics Anonymous, reports a 5 percent success rate. My success rate is 100 percent.
Charlie Sheen on success

I don't have time for their judgement and their stupidity and you know they lay down with their ugly wives in front of their ugly children and look at their loser lives and then they look at me and they say, 'I can't process it' well, no, you never will stop trying, just sit back and enjoy the show. You know?
Charlie Sheen on time

I'm sorry, man, but I've got magic. I've got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time - and this includes naps - I'm an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground.
Charlie Sheen on time

I'm dealing with fools and trolls and soft targets. It's just strafing runs in my underwear before my first cup of coffee. I don't have time for these clowns.
Charlie Sheen on time

When friends asked me, Can we help? I'd say, Not unless you can alter time, speed up the harvest or teleport me off this rock. I used that line from Star Wars.
Charlie Sheen on time

I think what drove me insane for a long time is feeling like I hadn't earned most of what I achieved because it came so fast.
Charlie Sheen on time

We're going to shoot one Polaroid per show. I'm going to sign this before it even develops because I know that once it develops with my signature on it, it's worth a fortune. I'll make this a work of magic warlock art.
Charlie Sheen on work

I try to be known more for my work than for anything else.
Charlie Sheen on work

People say you have to work on your resentments. Yeah, no, I'm gonna hang onto them and they're gonna fuel my attack.
Charlie Sheen on work