27 Quotes By Bill Maher


Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'
Bill Maher on death

This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.
Bill Maher on experience

Freedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that 'Oh, I don't get involved in politics,' as if that makes someone cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn't insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable.
Bill Maher on freedom

Men are only as loyal as their options.
Bill Maher on funny

Everything that used to be a sin is now a disease.
Bill Maher on funny

Suicide is man's way of telling God, 'You can't fire me - I quit.'
Bill Maher on god

Let's face it God has a big ego problem. Why do we always have to worship him?
Bill Maher on god

Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don't need.
Bill Maher on god

Freedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that 'Oh, I don't get involved in politics,' as if that makes someone cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn't insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable.
Bill Maher on government

I think capital punishment works great. Every killer you kill never kills again.
Bill Maher on great

If you think you have it tough, read history books.
Bill Maher on history

Things aren't right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
Bill Maher on home

The Clinton White House today said they would start to give national security and intelligence briefings to George Bush. I don't know how well this is working out. Today after the first one Bush said, 'I've got one question: What color is the red phone?'
Bill Maher on intelligence

This has been a learning experience for me. I also thought that privacy was something we were granted in the Constitution. I have learned from this when in fact the word privacy does not appear in the Constitution.
Bill Maher on learning

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the 'will of the people' goes out the window.
Bill Maher on marriage

Whenever the people are for gay marriage or medical marijuana or assisted suicide, suddenly the 'will of the people' goes out the window.
Bill Maher on medical

Men are only as loyal as their options.
Bill Maher on men

Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
Bill Maher on men

I do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
Bill Maher on patriotism

Freedom isn't free. It shouldn't be a bragging point that 'Oh, I don't get involved in politics,' as if that makes someone cleaner. No, that makes you derelict of duty in a republic. Liars and panderers in government would have a much harder time of it if so many people didn't insist on their right to remain ignorant and blindly agreeable.
Bill Maher on politics